Wendy Knowler’s Consumer Watch exposed Shoprite for selling defrosted chicken breast fillets as fresh. Shoprite claimed that a ‘Previously Frozen’ sticker should have been put on the pack.

The complainant had assumed that the ‘pinkish liquid’ in the punnet was the result of the defrosting process.

Do you feel the warm on your skin, and enjoy it ?

“He wanted to know where the guns were” Lise sobbed, her rapidly swelling eye starkly outlined in red against the clammy pallor of her skin. “He wouldn’t believe Dave when he said we didn’t have any firearms. He just kept kicking Dave in the stomach every time Dave told him and then he …..

The cafe was a maddening swarm of soggy coats and dripping umbrellas. Typical for Rome in October. The windows were steamed up and the distinct smell of coffee mingled with a multitude of perfumes, leather and wool induced sweat. Feeling vaguely nauseas, Daniela swirled the remnants of her now stale cappuccino and leaned heavily against the marble bar.

I’ve taken to tempering my uneasiness by following the usual capital dispensed prescription. Work eighteen hours a day and call me if you make 65”

Rayda Jacobs’ Masquerade is published by Umuzi, an imprint of Random House.

I’ve read ninety pages and have already found two typos. They’re not your average misplaced-apostrophe typo though. They indicate that the editor is not familiar with the English language, which is worrying.

Not having posted anything for a long time, I thought I would give you a conceptual view of how it might be if you were looking over God's shoulder.

Would you tell someone if you'd had an erotic dream about them?

Have you seen the headlines?

TOP COPS DRUNK AT GRUESOME MURDER SCENE

Pot luck! I can’t believe it; I kill one little Lolita and already I’m in the news. I should send that fat cop and his scrawny-ass assistant a bunch of roses. Then again they might not get it at all. I have a feeling they are handing in their badges as we speak.

Let me tell you what happened.

Who doesn’t love Sunday brunches around here?

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SUCH BUM DRIVEL? I knew those fuckers had some sort of 24.com aim in mind. Dex, Mr X, Adminjedi, I fall at your feet with gratitude and worship.

Buckland to drive 24.com social, mobile media

Saw the Annie Leibowitz documentaty (Life Through a Lens) on Saturday. What an amazing portrait photographer. Lots to think about. What struck me, amongst many things, was the down-to-earth way she interacts with people she photographs.

Chris Gibbons was discussing the merits of Harry Potter on Cape Talk’s Midday Report.

Assuming you, the average bookworm, start your ‘reading life’ at age twelve, manage to read two books a month, and live to seventy; you will only read about 1500 books in your life.

Remember you asked me if there was anywhere the old Springbok Radio stuff could be found?

Have a nice weekend now, y'hear!

This week, I have had a small taste, an inkling, of what it must be like to grow old; to have my wits and faculties desert me while my body grows weaker by the day.

Hun is so going to enjoy this when I tell write to him.

The doctor just told me to shut up. He says I talk too much and too loudly.

I’m not allowed to whisper either. Or clear my throat. However, I am allowed to cough. This is good because I have also contracted the dreaded lurgy, and am now a snot factory.

”Eddie”, my mother used to say, “You’re better off being quiet than speaking this piffle. Just now people will recognise you for the monkey you are.”

I wanted to point out to her that “just now” was kinda, sorta, a literal translation from the language she tried so hard to distance herself from, and that things didn’t always work quite like that. For added snottiness, I toyed with pointing out to her how even more absurd it made her use of the word “piffle”. I decided against it, ‘cause what does a monkey now anyway.

A melancholy melody
interrupts the mindless chatter,
cutlery clatter,
crash,
as light bulbs pop,
overhead
where ah’s and ooh’s evaporate,
enveloped in violin's wail
somewhere on stage.

Natalie came 16th out of 24 swimmers in the 10km swim at the Olympics yesterday. Only 1 minute 22.2 seconds behind the winner.

I saw someone die the other day.

As I pulled up to the robot, which was amber, some guy came flying past in a green Nissan Almera and the first thought that came to mind was who in their right mind buys an Almera. Wanker.

Normally I would have skipped the robot. I stopped.