Pans Labyrinth
running time: 2 hours
director: some spanish dude
starring: spanish people
"What happens when make-believe believes it's real?" what happens is it should also believe in telling the truth, back of the box says a little girl is taken into a Labyrinth filled with weird creatures and she must fight to maintain the balance of good and evil(or some shit along those lines)
well, the actual movie was pretty much constructed like this:
war-30 minutes
fantasy-5 minutes
war-45 minutes
fantasy-5 minutes
war-30 minutes
credits- 5 minutes
yes, it was just a war movie with some hairy spanyard girl running around in a dream world during intermissions... load of horse cock. i dont know how it won 3 oscars, utter utter shite. the best part of the whole damn thing was [spoiler warning] that she died at the end and the movie was over.
Rating: *
rating system:
*: ever see chairman of the board? that bad
**: almost as fun as clipping toenails
***: worth a watch, maybe
****: pretty good, definately worth seeing
*****: the equivalent of a movie blowjob, yes that good
Comments
Really like this guy's
Really like this guy's films. Check out also THE DEVIL'S BACKBONE, which - worryingly- has much the same mix of elements:
Spanish civil war + evil baddie + plucky kids + fantastical elements.
I actually preferred it to PAN, in fact. Slower, longer, more absorbing.
Both very good movies, but hmmm, maybe he will try a different formula next time...
hids, bru...you don't know shit
the movie was brilliant
less fantasy and more 'magic realism'. very cool. and clever
I HATE YOU!!!
AND THE MOVIE YOU LIKE!!! haha
how ya doing man?
jaja..hids
join the line bru...
i'm cool. getting stoned and reading blogs...you?
peasants
the message of the movie was that human beings are capable of far worse than we can conjure in our minds as scary.
i thought it was very good.
KC
yes, the message was plain as day, the movie was shit as hell. if they had just told the truth instead of trying to play it off as a fantasy i wouldn't have an issue with it... but taken for what it was, i have to admit... it was fucking retarded!!!
yeah hids
the message was plain in labyrinth too - goblins have big 'brooms' that are best displayed in tights, and two odd eyes that could make mine roll back?
definitely the better option. plus, i'm sure there was morality there too? i was too lost in the concept of being the goblin's new plaything.
haha
so you wanted to make morti's labyrinth? the x rated version :P
watched it hids...
always keen on a new faerie fantasy: still waiting for one of these to compare to 'labyrinth' with bowie in.
i must admit - the opening scenes got me pretty excited - beautiful setting; subtitles hint at the possibiilty of a 'deep' stroryline - and the filming techinque was promising... sort of dreamworld?
the instant that girly arrived at the homestead - my fascination ended.
absolute shite. spot on rating.
morti
i went in hoping a little kid gets stolen by goblins and Bowie would rear his fluffy little head... thats the movie i wanted, not a (shit)war movie. the fantasy scenes were good though, but the 10 or so minutes of that wasn't worth the other shit... 2 redeeming points:
the faun had a cool voice
the general was a fucking psycho
agreed... but -
the faun was shockingly represented. the special effects were lacking to say the least, although i quite enjoyed the fairies - but they generally dont require an insightful creator.
yeah - gen. psycho - and hats off to the chick who got him with a pigsticker! i'm sure the spanish where far more receptive - hidden nuances and all that kak.
bowie as the goblin king in the labyrinth original - now thats the ticket. he was sufficiently androgynous to carry the role. i so desperately want a copy of that flick - maybe google for it.
my sister
the lucky bitch has a VHS of it... i hope it's left to me in the will...
whaaaaat?
and you havent made a copy? if she wont let you use it, use a vidcam up close like the mozambiquans at the cine man!
your sis doesnt happen to be fond of big old witchy lasses? we can work something out? each have it for six months at a time?
my sister
is a bitch... she knows i want it, therefore i cannot copy it. :(
Labyrinth
I have two dvd copies of it.
But then Bowie makes my knickers moist, so can't own too many.
You know?
and you got them?
where? i must admit, i havent really hunted for it - but i would love to have a copy and educate my missy about goblins, and beauty.
i luuurve that boy, wanna wipe that cool reserve right offa his face!
as a service to society
you have to meet me on the corner of rivonia and main, drop the DVD off in an unmarked bag next to the blind guy at the traffic light. we never had this conversation
lol hids!
that's all? after i offer to jump the nookie fence and make your sister fall in love with me? pffft. beggar!
scary movie?
whats your all time brookie streaker? and dont you dare say that it's any of the ones with a min shaw soundtrack! seriously... what movie freaked you out badly enough to keep you looking over your shoulder for ages?
well that would have to be...
spiceworld
grrrr.
i assume you mean the real life version of the powerpuff series?
c'mon now. mine - white noise. seriously. nightmares.
morti
i've never watched a movie that really scared me, unless you count aliens when i was 8... always used to check the room for face huggers... movie that sicked me out the most and actually disgusted me: the hills have eyes(i stopped watching at the rape scene, drank a bottle of bourbon, and passed out)
was that a hillbilly flick?
sounds like it. i remeber being freaked out by a rape scene in concrete jungle when i was about twelve. think that was the movie anyway. same age i watched 'i spit on your grave'... coupled with von lustbader my intro to nookie was supah!
white noise made me refuse to switch the radio on for about a week! my horror watching mate wrote it off as 'pathetic'... and then sent me a mail to say she'd just jumped out of her chair - when a burst of static crackled from the speaker! lol.
Horror movies
I love horror movies but also havent found one that has really scared me. I find the 'horror' movies of today to be more 'bloody thrillers' than actual horror.
Will make a point of checking out white noise though. Sounds like fun.
The Hills have eyes was just SOOOO stupid. I hated it.
I saw Dead Silence and The Messengers this weekend....again....thrillers with too much blood. Dead Silence did have a good twist though.
lol
maybe i should check it out :D
morti
there's one fatal flaw in your plan... love. my sister is incapable of love. she's like a big pagan robot... that only wears black(on the odd occasion a dark shade of purple) and cries alot... to herself... at night... on the ham sandwich she uses as a pillow
and the problem is???
sheez darlin'... you cant see the similarities, can you? the hammie is the only flaw in the sisterhood of the grappling goths plan!
bless your blind but loving heart!
oh morti
you're an old softy :)
if my sisters brain was capable of excreting seratonin i might see a similarity lol
Hm
I think we may be related...that sister sounds VERY familiar....
nossie
sis? i can test this theory:
favourite movie?
torch song trilogy?
and the goonies.
so? am i in for family lunch and a personalised stocking at christmas?
Torch song trilogy...
Love that movie too Mort. What excelllent writing and the lead was superb.
haha
the goonies... lol
you already have the invite and stocking :)
HM
The notebook. OK, so I'm a romantic...
if my sis
ever said i liked the notebook it would be in this context:
"well i was being all dark and mysterious(look at how goth i am) and writing poetry, then i realised my ham was running low, so i went to the store and saw someone get blugeoned to death with a DVD cover, upon closer inspection i realised, i like the notebook"