Whore moans…

;)

A little while ago my brother came up with a high cholesterol diagnosis and was told that it was the genetic kind of high cholesterol so he should tell his siblings to get theirs checked too. My doctor, who only sees me about once a year - if he’s lucky - and then takes his chance to feel my boobs and smear my pap, rubbed his hands together in glee. “Yes,” he said, “we’ll do a full check-up, hormones the lot.”

He sent me off to the Path Lab where about a litre of blood was drained from my arm into a battalion of little test tubes and about a week later he phoned to say that I should come in for the results. My thyroid was a bit slow which results in a string of symptoms, none of which I would actually have listed as problems but most of which made sense. This is easily corrected by taking thyroxin every day. My homocysteine count was rather high which doesn’t have any symptoms but is a precondition for cancer and heart disease so he recommended a good multivitamin which should lower the count. There was nothing alarming about my cholesterol levels. All well and good until he continued, “Your testosterone is a little low which is perfectly normal in women over 40…”

I looked at him in horror. I’ve heard about the symptoms of low testosterone; lack of sexual desire, slow arousal, difficulty in reaching orgasm… “Thank you very much, but I have no issues in any of those areas,” I informed him primly.

About a month later, delighted with my less-sluggish metabolism, happier morning disposition, more alert afternoons, etc - all thanks to my new friend, thyroxin - I thought to myself, “hell, if one little white pill can have such a positive effect, what could testosterone do?” So I phoned my doc and he organised a little tub of cream for me. That was the first good thing; that I didn’t have to take it orally - it’s absorbed through the skin so you just rub a little into thighs, inner arms or feet once a day.

And?

Have you ever delayed taking your car for a service for such a long time that when it finally is serviced, you just can’t believe how sharp the breaks are? You’re amazed at how instantly they respond and realise just how much you’ve been accommodating for their slackness and how you had no idea how bad they’d got because it happened so slowly…

It’s like that.

Girls, if you are late thirties or older, do yourselves a HUGE favour and get your testosterone level checked. You will NOT regret it, I promise…