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Blood splatter

Submitted by Arrthymia on June 9, 2008 - 10:31
in

I had my period last week. A death of another perfectly fertile egg. A potential life lost. For the first time I mourned it’s loss. At almost 36 I realise that there is only a finite number of these little suckers left. My feelings heightened by the turbulence of a downward spiralling relationship. And the fact that a very close friend, at 41, is finally blissfully pregnant with her soulmate whom she had searched for, for many years.

I feel like a blood splatter this week. Dripping from putrid rags. Tainted, defective, lost. Slashed and disjointed from a warm nurturing body. Wondering when I shall be whole again.

I know I will be just fine. It just doesn’t feel like it this week.

Comments

Fluts

Submitted by Dolce on June 9, 2008 - 17:38.

I'm held hostage by my womb on regular occassion. I find a bottle of wine shuts it up.

Am sooooooo with you. Not this month, perhaps, but the last and possibly the next.

Doesn't make it any easier, though. When, again, the blood comes. And the empty is just that.

Thanks guys

Submitted by Arrthymia on June 9, 2008 - 15:29.

I really appreciate the kind words and support. It means alot. Big squishy hugs all round.

Fluts

Submitted by Tarnished Lily on June 9, 2008 - 15:07.

It will pass, but the longing is bad for as long as it lasts. Its not too late to you yet, so don't stress too much.

Fluts.

Submitted by Ramon on June 9, 2008 - 14:44.

Hang in there.
I don't know what else to say really.
I had this list of cool things one can do while being single, but that isn't the point, is it.
Hang in there.

hey Flutter

Submitted by medusajane on June 9, 2008 - 11:23.

sjoe, this really took me back. Started typing this long, emotive thing.

I had my baby just before I turned 39. I hadn't had a date for three years, before this "whirlwind romance".

Every day I drove past the sign for the fertility clinic, but I never made enquiries. I was 100% sure that I couldn't raise a baby on my own.

But then he broke up with me twice before the end of the first trimester, so I let him go. And I discovered that I could get through a pregnancy on my own, and even raise a child. It all worked out perfectly well.

So hang in there. It's hard though.

Fluts

Submitted by nossie on June 9, 2008 - 10:55.

Hormones are ugly things. They make you crazy. Hang in there. Your time WILL come....

Sjoe, Fluts

Submitted by dex on June 9, 2008 - 10:49.

Um.

I have no pearls of wisdom (but you knew that already).

Just, like, hang in there and so on. Babies don't fix anything - they just give you different shit to worry about.

Geez Fluts

Submitted by Arbchick on June 9, 2008 - 10:46.

Try and enjoy the freedom that you have now girl. Seems like you're ready to be a parent but there's reasons for everything darling. I'm sure your time will come chicka - after all, your 41 year old matey is preggers! And there are many options today that you can consider later on, you know?

PS: Anytime you're in Durbs and you wanna babysit...hahahaha!