The dating game is one I might just be getting back into.
My life for a while has revolved around books, writing and work. There has been little extracurricular activity and it seems that this is blatantly apparent to those around me.
A friend mentioned that she could tell without asking me that it has been too long since I had a raunchy shag. After I had picked myself up off the floor and taken a reassuring sip of beer, she elaborated on her moment of insight.
She said I seldom grin at nothing in particular and the spark in my eye is a distant memory. To put the sirtuation into context, she is deeply involved and has been for years so there was no ulterior motive involved just it seems, a concern for a fellow human being.
The conversation topic prior to this little moment of psychoanalysis had been Karl Marx and I haven't been thinking about Karl Marx much since then.
What is crucial is dating and whether that could solve my grin and light my spark. It's all quite a process though and time consuming which makes me just a little sceptical.
Surely there are women out there that don't want relationship complexity just a shag now and then with no contracts or non disclosure clauses.
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Maybe
Ryder is just telling the truth. I fit into at least two of his dog-shit categories, but there isn't a grin on earth that would make me go where I don't wanna go.
I think the sparkle and faraway look are based on a sudden good (and naughty) memory - not so much from the I-rolled-a-sad-fat-old-chick-in-an-alley-last-night memory?!
Jeez, Dreaded Outsider
This is sort of an overly intellectual way of saying that you...well, ya know...just kinda want a kinky little fuckbuddy. Without any of that ‘relationship” crap.
Yeah. You and every other dude on the planet. Every dude, man. I guarantee that right now, some devoted family man is looking at his wife and thinking “Christ, it would be so great if she could just blow me and then fuck off so I can watch Magnum PI reruns in my underpants”
Just an observation.
But Ryder is always happy to help a fella out. Here are some tried and tested options for landing a fuckbuddy:
i) Always dangle that relationship carrot right next to your Johnson (or, “penis”, for those not familiar with the euphemism) – that way, everybody wins....you have a fuckbuddy, but she has a “boyfriend” (for a while, anyway)
ii) Target women with limited relationship alternatives. Specifically:
a. Fat chicks. Desperate
b. Old chicks. Desperate ( like dog crap, women get easier to pick up as they get older)
c. Ugly chicks. Desperate (see the pattern here?)
d. Fucked up chicks with unresolved father issues
iii) Stay 23 forever and get drunk with your female flatmates on a regular basis.
iv) Convince her that you’re both, like, rebelling against the orthodoxy. I mean, who says that something as life affirming as sex needs to be consummated with the confines of what “society” defines as a ‘relationship”, anyway?
yeah. I'm a fucking expert, man (I'd go on, but I just got done masturbating and I'm kinda fatigued right now....)
BUI...
...and a nasty drunk...
This dude is quite something else, hey Mica. Do you think he
lost a bet, that's why he has to be so obnoxious?
Well Dreaded
there are; but once they've seen that grin, they're going to battle to remain impartial.