I'm Hippo. Sniff. So this voice says, 'What colouuur are you?' No, I say, I'm Hippo. I'm, I'm, I'm Hippo. I'm not a colour. 'Oh', says the voice. 'What do you want? Only its, 'what do you waggnt.' Like a Frenchie or something. Geddit? 'Wanggt'. There's like an infection. Um, no, an inflect-ion. Accented speech. 'What do you waanggnt.' Dada, dada, dadadadadada dada dadaaaaa. So anyway, that's the theme to the Pink Panther. I'm thinking its Inspector Clouseau on the line. 'What do you wagggnt, you silly man.' So I say, no, you phoned me. What do YOU waggggnt?' Click. The guy just hangs up.

The Big Bang Theory. TV series. Funniest thing I have watched in decades. I have not actually gone out and bought it. Instead I have watched seasons 1 & 2 about three times from the evil download king.

director: Clark Gregg
starring: That dude that was Zaphod Beeblebrox, that old woman that was Morticia
running time: 92 minutes

Imagine, if you can, Stephen King, David Lynch and Monty Python got together and started throwing ideas around. Then they slapped something together for TV. Hard to imagine? Try watching the series Kingdom Hospital.

Teeth.

When I saw the trailer for this film I wanted to watch it. It looked grizzly and sort of black humour, which always appeals to me. Nothing could be further from the truth. It’s sad. Desperately sad. Shattered dreams of a young girl who takes a vow of purity, no sex until marriage. She is raped and her vagina dentata kick in.

Have any of you watched In Treatment? We've just downloaded the entire series - something like 40 episodes; at first i wasnt sure how it was going to work, but you soon get drawn in. Its about a psychotherapist, and covers 5 different consults - a different one each episode, then goes back to the first one with another consultation, and so on.

I try to refrain from writing when I am either drunk or crying, which, if you think about it, is probably when I should. Youd get more interesting posts that way. Back when I started here, it seems every other post of mine was the product of alcohol or tears. Give a girl a few months of careless drinking, pair it with a string of doomed relationships and youve got yourself some ill-advised blogging.

OK, so you have not read the comic. Shame on you for that. Not to worry though, you can go and see the film. Here's what to do: See it on the big screen then go and buy it on DVD. Watch it repeatedly until you get it. Then reconsider graphic novels as an art form.

Warning: if youre planning on watching this movie. Do NOT read this blog.

O my goeie fok.

Clearly, the Wife thought Well dex seems to have a liking for the darker stuff, so Ill rent Grimm Love for him and well see what he makes of it. Of course, she was snoring in her cave 10 minutes into the thing. And there I was, reliving the story of the cannibal and the guy who wanted to be eaten. Yes - you remember that story. And now here I am, needing to just say something about it because i know that if i dont, i wont stop thinking about it and wont sleep at all tonight.

Its easy to see why Diablo Cody, sexy stripper turned scriptwriter, is Hollywoods flavour-of-the-month. In Juno she delivers an original, outstanding script which is excellently performed by the cast. This is a quirky coming-of-age chick-flick with kick-ass dialogue.

So, gnawers and writers and wanna bes. You think bashing out a few lines every couple of days for this group of eyeballers is tough, think again!

[the 'thing' below is a satirical response to and excellent post on KUK that deals with that old chestnut, Masculinity. But it works as a flippant review so I'm posting it here and at the other place]

director: chan-wook park
starring: alot of koreans
running time: 120 minutes

WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!
i cant mention anything about it as it will give an aspect of the intense mind fuckery away... literally the best movie i have ever seen... i'm only willing to give the tag line: "15 years of imprisonment, five days of vengeance "

director: a japanese dude
starring: lots of japanese dudes and dudettes
running time: 141 minutes

running time: 129 minutes
director: judd apatow
starring: some guys from 40 year old virgin and a blonde chick

"From the director of "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" comes a comedy about a one night stand that became something more" it became a movie for couples to go watch... i honestly think if you're in a relationship this would be great to watch with the significant other... for two reasons:

running time: 2 hours
director: some spanish dude
starring: spanish people

"What happens when make-believe believes it's real?" what happens is it should also believe in telling the truth, back of the box says a little girl is taken into a Labyrinth filled with weird creatures and she must fight to maintain the balance of good and evil(or some shit along those lines)

FILM: Shoot 'Em Up
WRITER/DIRECTOR: Michael Davis
ACTORS: Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti, Monica Bellucci
RATING: **

I've always loved Tarantino. He's a smug, self-idolising, arrogant son of a bitch but he makes up for it with intelligent gratuitous violence, clever dialogue and interesting tributes to the masters of movie making.