Wendy Knowler’s Consumer Watch exposed Shoprite for selling defrosted chicken breast fillets as fresh. Shoprite claimed that a ‘Previously Frozen’ sticker should have been put on the pack.

The complainant had assumed that the ‘pinkish liquid’ in the punnet was the result of the defrosting process.

Rayda Jacobs’ Masquerade is published by Umuzi, an imprint of Random House.

I’ve read ninety pages and have already found two typos. They’re not your average misplaced-apostrophe typo though. They indicate that the editor is not familiar with the English language, which is worrying.

Chris Gibbons was discussing the merits of Harry Potter on Cape Talk’s Midday Report.

Assuming you, the average bookworm, start your ‘reading life’ at age twelve, manage to read two books a month, and live to seventy; you will only read about 1500 books in your life.

Remember you asked me if there was anywhere the old Springbok Radio stuff could be found?

Have a nice weekend now, y'hear!

Hun is so going to enjoy this when I tell write to him.

The doctor just told me to shut up. He says I talk too much and too loudly.

I’m not allowed to whisper either. Or clear my throat. However, I am allowed to cough. This is good because I have also contracted the dreaded lurgy, and am now a snot factory.

Natalie came 16th out of 24 swimmers in the 10km swim at the Olympics yesterday. Only 1 minute 22.2 seconds behind the winner.

I went for an x-ray yesterday, thinking I would have to carry the film from the radiologist to the doctor, who would then say, “Hmm,” and charge me R200 for the privilege.

I got the second part right.

Now that life is back to ‘normal’, I thought it would be a good idea to switch on that dusty thing in the corner of the lounge.

Oh my golly gosh goodness.

We had the last two shows on Saturday. The matinee was marred by the rugby. And I’m not even talking about the score.

Can you remember the last time you really wanted to impress your parents?

I saw it in a 30-year old last night.

One of the actors was beside himself because his parents were coming to see the show. First time they’ve seen him on stage.

In a paragraph where the letters of the words are jumbled, except for the first and the last letters, the paragraph is still comprehensible.

Now, in my leftly-disabled state, I wanted to find out what happens if I use only the letters that would ordinarily be typed with my right hand.

----- i- - -----in l---y ------bl- -h-- -oul- -- ---lu---.

Or using only my left hand:

In theatre, the director is not allowed backstage once the show opens. I was glad of this last night, because I didn’t want the cast to worry about my blotches.

The City of Cape Town is in the process of passing a Bylaw banning barbed wire.

Apparently it poses a danger to passersby who may snag themselves. And there have been some complaints that it is ugly.

I’ve had the most delightful day slouching around the house with only the dogs for company.

Sifted through countless emails single-handedly, blogged a bit and took a few phone calls.

I lost my temper last night.

An actor berated me for being hard on him; constantly criticising, never praising. So I said shouted, “It’s not ALL about YOU! Bloody Prima Donna.”

He always asks me what he did wrong during a rehearsal. So I always tell him. I also tell him the things he does well, but he never hears those words.

Three very important things are happening tomorrow: one good, one bad and one indifferent.

Firstly, it’s opening night of the play that has consumed my life for the last two months. I will be banished to the foyer, where I will bite my nails and smile bravely while the cast and crew get on with entertaining the masses.

The City of Cape Town is auctioning 75 abandoned vehicles on 27 August. From trailers and trucks to motorbikes and Mercs. There’s even a Jag. And a Leyland Morris. Most with registration numbers.

So many questions…

I’ve spent the last twenty-four hours living life single-handedly.

I dinged my left arm yesterday afternoon, and because I’m full of it, I refused to go to the doctor until after rehearsal. At 11.30pm.

Taiwanese exercise-junkies have included clapping as part of their early-morning regimen, as they believe it improves circulation.

The local gangsters get to bed at 3am after a hard night’s looting; only to woken by a bunch of happy clappers a few hours later. They are threatening to klap the clappers if they do not cease and desist.

I’ve been having flashbacks to the family home in Johannesburg. We moved away just after my fourth birthday, but I still remember the layout of the house and garden; colours of floors and walls; the jumping seat my dad made for me out of green canvas; and cutting my foot on a piece of glass in the driveway.